Clit-Orations

Mlle showed how men like to relax after a hard day with their Femdoms — but after a hard day of wrangling piggies, I prefer to make them work for My pleasure.

Why should some piggie get his ass-pussy stuffed while My real cunt goes hungry? Why should I put forth any effort on his pathetic ass when there’s Me to be worshiped?

First, tease and torment him, until he’s begging — straining at the end of his leash for the chance to kiss his Mistress’ ass. Then, when he’s out of his mind with desire, make him service Me until I’m exhausted. Maybe his wee willie dribbles and drains; maybe it doesn’t. I don’t care. What’s a piggie’s pleasure worth to Me, anyway? Nothin’.

Pathetic piggies (that haven’t already wanked & drained themeselves) will probably dribble the few drops that their small sock-puppet cocks contain when they look at these photos of Nika Noire using her own submissive piggy:

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After a rough day at the office, he likes to unwind with his beautiful Femdom…

Here, Femdom Penny Flame shows the beauty of a woman taking a strap-on to submissive male ass.

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“In Your Face” is a porn story with a twist:

Two girls used by their boyfriend get revenge, including, at the end, the girls squirting in his face in a direct reversal of the normal porn movie ending.

Catch it, if you think you can handle it, at Cinema Erotique.

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My latest BFF is the Natural Contours LIBERTÉ™ personal massager — it’s such a pleasin’ hot little number — with real horse-power under it’s hood (for my throbbin’ Little Red Pink Riding Hood) that I’ve even taken it out onto the front porch of my trailer to masturbate like a sweaty fiend under the cool night breezes.

So there I was, flushed and sweaty, my cotton nightshirt hiked up ’round my hips, naked from the waist down, panting & cooing my personal pleasure to the piggies who were equally frantic, snorting & panting to their own dirty deeds, in the bushes; my dog howling his forlorn accompaniment on the other side of the screen door.

For one and a half hours.

Now the outdoor marathon masturbation event was not because the damn thing didn’t work — quite the opposite, my dears. If you thought I was frustrated or whatever, then consider these two things you don’t know:

1 I don’t put up with lame crap; I’ll toss a weak-ass vibe quicker than I’ll turn down sock-puppet cock.

2 I am, like most women, multi-orgasmic (and if you don’t think that’s true, you’ve been doing something everything terribly wrong, pig!) and so I’ll let the good times roll for as long as I can.

Now, why is the Natural Contours LIBERTÉ™ (which is cheaper at Amazon) so damn good?

1 Because of it’s shape. It may not look like your usual vibe or dildo — and that’s because it isn’t. Connoisseurs of fine sex toys likely noticed the curved shape — angled for the G-Spot (amazingly accurate, and I have the wet spots from squirting on my porch to prove it). But see that “dip” too? That clever “ergonomic” design element lets you both penetrate and pleasure your magic spot as well as reach your magic button — at the same time!

Daymn.

2 Three fucking speeds — plus, my personal favorite, pulsating buzzes! Because sometimes you want to let it do the work while you play with your own nipples, or just tuck your arms behind your head and ride the waves, baby.

3 It’s made of hard plastic (officially it’s high quality anti-bacterial plastic called ABS); no wimpy sad-sack gel (and it’s cleaning/health issues) wanted to make this pussycat purr

So why wouldn’t I want to spend an hour and a half with such a dear friend?

That’s eight inches of genius fake penis.

PS The massager requires two AA batteries — which are included!

No Comments | Tags: masturbation, sex toys, vibes

Breathtaking enough as she is…

Behind the cut Nikki Nines poses with her favorite weapon.

(If these next picks don’t make you drop your pants and give yourself 20, well, that’s just ‘cuz you’re scared shitless.)

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Every now and then I wake up in the middle of the night, panting and gasping, drenched in sweat — and something even stickier between my thighs…

I’ve been dreaming of servicing an entire pirate ship of men, but where do I get my own pleasures? Listen to find out…

And discover what you can learn about sex from the pirates in my dreams.

A pirate gang-bang of male submission & humiliation.

No Comments | Tags: pirates, recorded audio erotica, sex fantasies

I’d rather have a banana in my pussy — here’s photo proof.

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