Clit-Orations

“My, what a big sleeping mask You have,” said the little pig.

“The better to ignore you with,” I replied.

Sexy red satin with black ruffle trim blindfold available here. Now gift Me one, little pig.

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My attentions are piggy’s truffles

from your wallet I lift bills
and I suck all your will
your ass I will drill

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Don’t you just wish this was Me — and that it was you on the floor? I know you do, piggy; I know you do.

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It’s cold here — and honest to God this is what I wore to take My truck in for a tune-up. Obviously, I didn’t pay a damn thing.

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Hello, Secondhand Rose here. I know it’s been ages, so I thought I’d better reintroduce myself *wink*

I’m busy working on a custom story about training a man, converting him to the lifestyle more suiting for the dog he really is… Along the way, I spotted this big black leather dog hood. And you can save 15% on it — or anything you order at Sexclectic — when you use code the exclusive Clit-Orations code at the checkout: CLITO15. (Coupon code good until October 15, 2011.)

No Comments | Tags: custom erotica, dogs, dominant female, erotica, submit to your mistress

I know you want to buy Me this little piggy ring.

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Today I’m going to the flea market with My BFF Ashley and a boy toy — you know, some poor grunt who gets to drive us there, buy and carry our purchases, and is otherwise ignored…

Unless We mock him lol

Oh, and he gets the joy of walking behind us too.

If you wish you were there, call My ignore line today and you can experience it for your loser self!

If you don’t call, tribute Me $20 — just cuz I said to.

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At least you are.

By EastMonkey.

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But I’m getting pretty good at ignoring you.

Image via.

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I know you use a lot of sex toys — I mean, you dirty little pigs are always trying to pull that tiny tool, whether it’s to make it look bigger (less like a clit and more like a dick) or to spew that thimble-full of cum. And I know how you love to take huge things up your ass too. So why not put that knowledge of masturbators, dildos and other sex toys to good use? Review the sex toys you’ve used and maybe you can win $250 worth of sex toys in this contest. Of course, if you win, you’ll be sending Me the gift certificate. Heaven knows you can’t please Me, so I deserve something that will. Plus, I’m always worthy of gifts.

No Comments | Tags: contests, dominant female, gifts, how it works, masturbation, sex toys