Clit-Orations

Maybe I’m just used to giant dicks. …Obviously not the dicks of callers, but the men in my real life. Anyway, I think her arm looks like a dick.

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Wear a piggy shower cap.

It probably won’t get you laid; but then you’re a loser and weren’t getting laid anyway.

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Well, actually, it’s more like me dressing you up in your own lust, piggy.

(Man wearing pig nose via Getty Images.)

Get the look with the McPiggly Cop Sunglasses set — it has a pig nose attached to the sunglasses and even has a piggy tail for you to wear.

Or, for you sissies, how about the Miss Piggy set? It includes the long wavy blonde hair, tiara, pig ears, and a pig nose.

Either way, you’ll have the look. …And don’t worry, I’ll help provide the squeals *wink*

No Comments | Tags: piggy tales, submit to your mistress, trailer trash

So call, try to look up my skirt, or stay hidden in the bushes and peep at me wearing my animal print dress — I know you’re there, so I’ll slowly strip and tease the shit out of you, loser.

Get your kicks in quick, because I’ll be gone for the holiday weekend. And you’ll miss me.

No Comments | Tags: bitch, dominant female, phone sex, sex fantasies, submit to your mistress, tease, trailer trash

His name is Stuart, but he’s a submissive piggy boy, so I get to call him what I wish.

Me: I will now call you stew-y d. moore — that’s how you’ll sign all your messages to me, from now on.

stew-y d. moore: Yes, Mistress.

Me: And don’t call me “Mistress” — I am now The Celebutaunt. One part “celebutant“, one part “taunt.”

stew-y d. moore: Yes, Celebutaunt. May i ask you a question?

Me: you may ask; I’m not certain about the answer…

stew-y moore: Why did You name me stew-y d. moore?

Me: Are you questioning The Celebutaunt?

stew-y: No, Celebutaunt. Just wondering.

Me: you are stew-y d. moore because you have a little bit of meat, just like stew, but it’s so small that it must be “dinky,” not Dinty. And no matter what it’s called, I’m not going to eat it.

1 Comment | Tags: bitch, dominant female, piggy tales, small cock

Hey, loser, hand your my money over.  …All you’ll be left with is the despair.

No Comments | Tags: bitch, financial domination, phone sex, submit to your mistress, trailer trash

If you’re lucky, that is.

1 Comment | Tags: bitch, real world fantasies, submit to your mistress

My cousin enlisted my help to cuckold her husband. Here’s the whole dirty story — with 30 photos!

Enter the Cherry Picked Post password to see it all.

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Every now and then I wake up in the middle of the night, panting and gasping, drenched in sweat — and something even stickier between my thighs…

I’ve been dreaming of servicing an entire pirate ship of men, but where do I get my own pleasures? Listen to find out…

And discover what you can learn about sex from the pirates in my dreams.

A pirate gang-bang of male submission & humiliation.

No Comments | Tags: pirates, recorded audio erotica, sex fantasies

I’d rather have a banana in my pussy — here’s photo proof.

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