Clit-Orations

I know you use a lot of sex toys — I mean, you dirty little pigs are always trying to pull that tiny tool, whether it’s to make it look bigger (less like a clit and more like a dick) or to spew that thimble-full of cum. And I know how you love to take huge things up your ass too. So why not put that knowledge of masturbators, dildos and other sex toys to good use? Review the sex toys you’ve used and maybe you can win $250 worth of sex toys in this contest. Of course, if you win, you’ll be sending Me the gift certificate. Heaven knows you can’t please Me, so I deserve something that will. Plus, I’m always worthy of gifts.

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By Namio Harukawa.

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I make piggies buy panties. Not only for Me, but for themselves.

They always think they’re so smart, knowing what I’ll make them do with them. They think I’ll make them wear them. Well I do do that — but I do much more than that.

Like what, you ask?

Well, I’m not going to tell you that — not for free anyway.

I may be trailer trash, but you’re the one who gets used, not Me.

So if you want to know the twisted things I make you and other piggies do with panties, you’ll have to call or message Me. Can you manage that, loser?

Image via.

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George always kept a steady stream of porn running on his computer and would raise the volume every time one of us girls would walk by, then give us a crass slimy wink and blow us a disgusting kiss through his foul yellow stained teeth. Heather had had just about enough of his bullshit, of his “Come here baby I got your sex right here” as he’d grab his crotch.

She walked up to him in her devious way and said, “I want you. Meet me in the VIP washroom and I’ll rock your world.”

In the bathroom she stripped him down and said, “I love it when a man is blindfolded.” And the fool that George was, he jumped at the opportunity to make Heather happy. She tied a leash around his neck, bound his hands together before him and did likewise at his ankles, then Whistled. We swung the bathroom doors open and there was Mr. Porn George bound and wobbling on all fours, blindfolded and leashed up like the dog he was. We walked out to a cacophony of laughter and had the best lunch we’ve had in a long while.

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They call it the Kitty Spank-HER — but then you’re not a real man anyway.

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Fellow phone sex operator & shoe nut & fetishist Klaudia and I tag-teamed this little piggy — and you can see, he is a little piggy.

…So little in fact, that thing between his legs might just be a large clit. I call it sock puppet cock.

At least he knows how small his cock is, “so small that even librarians like Klaudia laugh so hard they have to ‘shh’ themselves.”

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snuffle snuffle snuffle
My ass is like your truffle

confess it’s “yes”
and I may lift up My dress

Come on piggy, you lust after your Trailer Trash Angel.

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This particular assignment I prefer to you perform for Me on webcam — as in I watch you, but you won’t see Me. Or on the phone. (Contact Me to schedule such a tasking session.) But, from time to time, such supervision isn’t possible. For these times, piggies with the password can perform this task as follows below.

Just think, after weeks of no orgasm, your blue balls are about to be relieved…

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A gift for Mistress Angel. But this gift was too small, so she returned it. Proof that one size doesn’t fit all.

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One piggy was tasked to write Me poetry — a lot of poetry this past week, including limericks. This was one of My favorites because he unwittingly touched on one of My favorite things, entertaining Myself with piggies in the dirt.

There was a man near DC
Who groveled on his bruised knee
Please let me squirt
Right here in the dirt
And i’ll OINK the praises of thee!

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