Clit-Orations

I’m sure I don’t fully appreciate the mission of this post about what bitches don’t do (I’m too busy bitchy to poke around to get the feel of the whole site), but I have to clarify a few things…

7. Spitting, cracking gum, slurping, burping, or itching certain areas in public.

A bitch does whatever she wants, when she wants. And plenty of you piggies pay to hear me snap & crackle my gum — a number of you know that burping costs you double.

11. Like she just rolled out of bed in public. (She takes the time to take care of herself. She’s never one of those people walking in flip flops in 3 feet of snow, or wearing polka dot and plaid together)

Like I just said; we do what we want. So if we roll out of bed and need a 6-pack, a carton of smokes, a pine scented air freshner for our pick-up, or whatever we desire right then — and, finding ourselves bereft of a doting servant — we head to the store. And frankly, we enjoy the hell out of the stares and sniffs. After all, what’s sexier than a woman who’s just risen from a good night’s sleep after a rousing roll in the hay? I know a lot of you’d kill yourselves trying to get those dirty panties…

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What do you think the chances you would, loser. Zero, zip, nada.

Hey, since you can’t get any, why not go to the best online casino.

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So many, in fact, that I’ve decided each loser attracted to them should help build My charm bracelet. As usual, I am specific in My wishes: I want a bracelet with nothing but Juicy Couture “When Pigs Fly” charms.

How do I tell one piggy from another?

First of all, do I even need to? Such unremarkable losers, who really cares!

But if I did need to know for some reason, I just crack them open and read the loser’s name inside each little piggy locket. It’s the same way I do it in real life — only then the identification lies in their ass-pussies

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Yup, I’m out of your league — and that doesn’t mean I shoot pool, play darts, or bowl on another night.

It means that I’m better than you, stupid.

Yup, even this pretty little piece of trailer trash is better than you.

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Because I’m more “spice” than “sugar” I’m sharing this; but frankly, I’m better.

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I have to get my buzz on somehow, so you’d better improve your licking or I’ll replace you with a toy.

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Maybe I’m just used to giant dicks. …Obviously not the dicks of callers, but the men in my real life. Anyway, I think her arm looks like a dick.

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I’m both a bitch and trailer trash!

Via PositiveNation.

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So call, try to look up my skirt, or stay hidden in the bushes and peep at me wearing my animal print dress — I know you’re there, so I’ll slowly strip and tease the shit out of you, loser.

Get your kicks in quick, because I’ll be gone for the holiday weekend. And you’ll miss me.

No Comments | Tags: bitch, dominant female, phone sex, sex fantasies, submit to your mistress, tease, trailer trash