Clit-Orations

At my primary blog, A Slip Of A Girl, I have a holiday contest where you can win a $100 shopping spree at the Lovely Lingerie Company!

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I know you want to buy Me this little piggy ring.

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They call it the Kitty Spank-HER — but then you’re not a real man anyway.

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So many, in fact, that I’ve decided each loser attracted to them should help build My charm bracelet. As usual, I am specific in My wishes: I want a bracelet with nothing but Juicy Couture “When Pigs Fly” charms.

How do I tell one piggy from another?

First of all, do I even need to? Such unremarkable losers, who really cares!

But if I did need to know for some reason, I just crack them open and read the loser’s name inside each little piggy locket. It’s the same way I do it in real life — only then the identification lies in their ass-pussies

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And then you can clean it up with this Snap The Whip Tidy Cloth found at Silent Porn Star.

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Wear a piggy shower cap.

It probably won’t get you laid; but then you’re a loser and weren’t getting laid anyway.

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Not only do I want this Trailer Trash Red Double Tattoo Heart Necklace, but I want you to be my very own red-necked submissive wonder and wear one yourself.

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I’m both a bitch and trailer trash!

Via PositiveNation.

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Piggies tend to wander off a lot, it’s true; but occasionally you find a few worthy of making into pets. Sissies, on the other hand, tend to travel around much more. I think it’s because they are always in search of a new make-over, because they are always looking for a new party to be the queen at (they are always second place at my parties, of course), and because they are often let go by Mistresses who can no longer put up with their ineptitude.

With a constant stream of sissies, I do give a lot of make-overs. Whether they want them or not — you wouldn’t believe how badly some of them dress & poorly they groom themselves. Some of them, even with coaching & training, must be let go; they remain too sloppy, in look or behavior, to be around me. But that’s OK, another one will show up in a few minutes. There is no sissy shortage.

Unless you count their genitals.

Thankfully, I do enjoy dressing & styling new sissies.

Recently, while dressing a new sissy maid (Marie), I found her a cute pink wig & pretty flirty skirt (which I always modify so that the back is shorter, the ruffles higher, for greater access and vulnerability).

Usually such small sizing isn’t an issue; many sissies are slim (some could even wear my pants — even though they’ll never “get into them”!). But sometimes, a sissy can’t buy “just anywhere” or might even struggle to find properly fitting attire. (And I am very picky.)

Marie was one of these sissies. She isn’t a big-boned-girl or anything, but the ‘one size fits most’ skirts are not going to work. Then, it’s off to eBay where one can usually find a discreet seller who either has a larger selection, including sizing, or who does custom work (totally worth the price when you are dealing with someone as particular as I am).

However, this can pose problems for sissies. Since many sissies have short attention spans &/or impulse issues, and cannot stand waiting while searching for the perfect skirt, the correct shade of lippie, etc. This is largely how they end up looking so horrid.

Fortunately for them, my sissies have me.

I distract them with other sparkling items while they wait, punish them when they are too impulsive, or otherwise occupy their time (maybe an orifice or two too).

And if they don’t like it, they can move along now… Another sissy will be by in 15 minutes or so.

And I’ll get to name her, and dress her, bend her in strange positions, and loan her out to my brothers — just like I did with Barbie.

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Get The T-shirt to remind yourself.

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